Soon

Sometimes I question myself. Why am I so sad about all these?

Yes. I’ve asked myself so many times in so many different time of the day. Do I still love her? The answer is always the same. Yes.

Are all these sadness, self destructing worth it though? I question myself tonight.

When she needed you, she asked for your company, she asked for your care and she asked for your love. Even when she claimed she started feeling she lost her love for me since a year ago.

The silly me still gave her the company,  care and love she wanted because I love her,  and she needed them at the moment for various reasons. However, just when you needed her care, love and concern,  she turned her back on you. She told you she is unwilling to do so. She wants a break up. She is the victim. I was too domineering.

Then I asked myself. Do I still want to salvage this? I know I love her. That’s definite. When she finally turn back to me however,  would it be because she need your love,  care and concern again? Does she love me? Or did she only continue because she could not find someone to replace the care and concern she always enjoy in abundance? I really feel like knowing.

9 years of relationship. 9 years of constant care,  support and love showered upon her. Yet it just took a moment to turn her back towards me. This is just so sad. The feeling of betrayal is unbearable.

Your question,  if she comes back,  will you accept her? Love is blind and cannot be explained. I probably will,  I probably will continue to be silly. I just at this juncture feel stupid to even feel sad and wanted to salvage. Why should I really? She don’t want you anymore. Why still hang on? Why feel sad? This is really so perplexing.

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