Day 20: Move on

When you try to move on, the number one rule I have to remember: Never. I mean never look at her profile on social media. Facebook, Instagram and every other means. It’s just not healthy. Whenever you see something, it would just bring your mood down. When you feel like moving on, when you feel much better, you would think to yourself; maybe I am feeling well enough to take a look at her profile once more. I’m just dead wrong.

What happened was, I took a look at her facebook profile today and I realized she had removed her relationship status. In fact, she had set her status as ‘Single’. Even though she had left my photos untouched, I still felt so down. She had previously left her relationship status untouched. Taking it down seems like she is prepared to move on (Although I’ve actually set my status to ‘Single’ first. Haha!). However, part of me still died. That’s why no matter how good you feel on a certain day, please remember that self-healing are not stages, where you move from stage 1 to stage 2 then to stage 3 and never go back. They are phases. Where you shift yourself from phase 1 to phase 2, sometimes to phase 3. Then something happened, you’ve thought of something, you would actually slip back to phase 2, even phase 1! Just like what happened to myself today. This morning, I was asking myself whether I could move on. For the first time, I felt I might be able to. After work, I was feeling so revitalized. I was in Phase 3. I felt ready to move on! Then I told myself, maybe I can take a look at her profile! Saw her status, I slipped straight back into phase 2, nearly into phase 1.

I know I am still not ready to move on. (If I was ready, I would have not felt the need to take a look at her profile.)  I’ve been reading self-help books to help myself to feel better. I do not know when will I really feel better to move on. I do hope it’s earlier than later because days like this are really hard to get through. Calming piano music + self-help books really help me understand to start to love myself more. Often we think that your ex is the perfect one for you, fact is, no one is perfect. Whoever you love at the moment, you would feel that she is the perfect person for you. When you find someone you love (fingers crossed sooner than later), you would soon forget your ex and feel that your new girlfriend is the one for you, the perfect one. This is just how love works.

One tip for myself, learn how to self-love. Because when you love yourself, improve yourself, people will love you. Jiayou.

最近你好嗎
少了一點微笑
說的話有點少
最近我也不好
全世界都在逆轉
人開始反向思考

發現你愛的人到處跑
昨晚剛升職 今天被炒
莫名其妙 誰會知道
是不是上天開的玩笑
地震時 你想和誰擁抱
什麼是生命中的美好
輕易放掉 卻不知道
幸福就在下一個轉角

說一聲加油 一切更美好
所有的悲傷 請往邊靠
曾經流過的淚
濕了傷口就讓
陽光曬乾而褪
這一種加油 人人都需要
手牽手我們一起賽跑
說好不見不散
每分每秒守候你到老

The beat goes on 時間它一直走
就像是Life goes on 這過程或許痛
不管順流或逆流 你總得抬起頭
讓我們一起走 走過艱難和困惑

發現你愛的人到處跑
昨晚剛升職 今天被炒
莫名其妙 誰會知道
是不是上天開的玩笑
地震時 你想和誰擁抱
什麼是生命中的美好
輕易放掉 卻不知道
幸福就在下一個轉角

說一聲加油 一切更美好
所有的悲傷 請往邊靠
曾經流過的淚
濕了傷口就讓
陽光曬乾而褪
這一種加油 人人都需要
手牽手我們一起賽跑
說好不見不散
每分每秒守候你到老

Rap:
關關是難關 但我們關關過
雨後天晴的陽光在天空閃閃爍
出現了彩虹 忽然間我們才懂
如果這是一場馬拉松 那我們一起加油

 

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