Final Letter

Hi,

I have no better word for you. Other than a liar and an ingrate brat. When we first got together and I first got to know first hand about how serious your anxiety attacks was, it did not faze me. I was in love with you and I am determined I would be the one that helped rid this problem. Over the years while we were dating, we were limited to where we could go. We couldn’t go to anywhere with heights. We couldn’t take the ferry to nearby islands. We couldn’t go overseas until nearly 8 years. Never once have I thought of giving up. I love your personality. I love how bubbly you were. I love how filial you were. I was determined even after 9 years.

Yeah. You would be surprised that I can still list things that I loved about you. Then this is how you’ve treated me. Whether intentional or not. You did not just tried to end your relationship with me, which I would have otherwise be opened to since one cannot force another to stay on without love. You decided to go one step higher. You fall in love with someone else whilst with me. Initially, a part of me thought I knew you well. I knew you are just not this kind of person. Afterall, you had went through the same ordeal when you broke up with your ex. He cheated on you. I thought you would never possibly do that. Or would you? You actually did. Even though you aren’t aware that I was aware. You’ve lost not only my love, you have lost my respect for you and most importantly, my trust I’ve always had for you even after we broke up. I continued to protect and shield you from my parents, telling them you just fall out of love with me. I was blindsided. I thought I knew everything about you. I gave you my full trust even when things got bad between us. My friends were suspecting a third person. I told them you were not the kind. You did not have someone already because I TRUSTED you. Now I feel so stupid to have trusted you.

No, this has nothing to do with being gentleman or not. I feel genuinely betrayed and disappointed. I am not going to pretend that I am the bigger person here and will forgive you for what you had done. I would forget eventually, but I will never forgive you. Although I won’t go so far as to curse you and whatnot, I won’t wish you well either, because someone like you simply don’t deserve to. Make this my last letter to you. I will still continue to write in this blog on moving on. I will make it a point to move on finally. 再见 , 再也不见。

 

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