Blogging in the middle of the night. I’ve actually realised I’ve neglected the space for quite some time because frankly I don’t exactly feel like journaling this process anymore but I guess I’ve always wanted to keep a kind of diary somewhere and some form, whether it’s anonymous or not.
2 months on from the split. How do I feel now? Better than I was in the first month. I’ve kept myself busy at work, trying to get closer to my colleagues as I spend most of my time with them after all. I’m going for my trip to Taiwan tomorrow. It was meant as a escape from reality. I’ll be honest, I’m really much much better now.
My mind no longer are filled with her. She cheated on our relationship. I know there is no way I would want her back in any capacity, even if she were to come back, I don’t think I will be able accept her anymore. I don’t think anyone can enjoy being in a relationship without trust. That is precisely the thing I don’t have for her now.
Life’s mundane really. I wanted to grow my social circle, I wanted to find my next one, I wanted to be ready for it. I don’t know if I am in any condition to find one but I do hope one day I would find one who would sweep me off my feet and love me more than I do myself. There is bound to be someone out there who appreciates you for who you are and would stay with you through thick and thin with their heads unturned. For now, let me live in the fantasy of imagining how she would probably look like.
For now, I would continue to better myself. I don’t want to be that overweight version of myself again. I want to push for even fitter body. That’s a promise I give myself. Move on from 2nd month! Great job getting through the festive period. I’ll probably post again some time after a week or two, but I promise to always keep this space updated.
For those reading this for the first time and going through heartbreak. My ex girlfriend of nearly 9 years left me for another guy and here I am, 2nd month on, feeling optimistic about the future and feeling good about my life. If I can do it, there is nothing different about you. You will and you can do it too. Keep faith.
Never fully depend on someone to provide you happiness. Even your shadow leaves you during dark times, why would you think someone would always be there for you? Even if they did, don’t take it for granted. Nothing is forever, unless you meant them to be, then you will need to put in the effort. Nothing comes permanent and free.
Cheers and peace.